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it’s not just you.

I know it hasn’t even been a complete month since we moved from Miami, but not having a job is driving me fucking crazy! I don’t understand how people my age don’t go to school or work. I have no idea what to do with myself… but what I do know is I need money. Since living here I’ve applied to at least 45 jobs in and out of my field. Wanna know how many have gotten back to me? Two, two! One decided to no set up the interview because I didn’t live as close as she thought, which is fair. And the second kept setting up interviews and then canceling and then rescheduling and canceling again. She finally just stopped replying to me.

I’m in this routine that every morning as soon as I weak up I check my phone for emails about interviews, and every night before I fall asleep I apply for more. Honestly, it’s depressing because I think about when I was applying to jobs in Denver and I was getting call after call. Then I move to Central Florida and nothing. And everyone keeps saying that I need to be patient, and everything is going to happen at the right time, which I know but I need to pay bills now. I don’t have time for it to happen when it happens. You’d think spending what I did for my degree it would mean something, but that’s a load of shit. So, I spend my days recleaning the kitchen and living throughout day long episodes of Little Women: LA and Little Women: Atlanta (shout out to Alicia for putting me on).

I’m going to keep applying and pushing through because at some point everything will work out, I just can’t let this situation I’m in get to me too much. I’m over feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have it figured out. My new mantra “it’s not just you, no one has it figured out”, I literally have to remind myself this every day because I can’t let this depression get the best of me.

Sincerely,

Ileana

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27 thoughts on “it’s not just you.

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